LACKING LOO PAPER Reviewer Rates KFC London Road Brighton Worse Than Golf Handicap

Fast Food Fail: Speed Over Taste

I popped into the KFC on London Road, Brighton, expecting proper finger-lickin’ good food. Instead, I got lukewarm disappointment. The chicken arrived swiftly and was at least warm, but that was the best part. It tasted greasy and bland, as if speed mattered more than flavour. Far from the quality you’d expect from a big name like KFC, it was just “meh” fast food.

Service? More Like Sideshow

The staff weren’t rude, but the customer service was shockingly bad. They seemed more interested in chit-chat among themselves than serving customers. If you didn’t use the self-serve kiosk, you risked being ignored. Even at the counter, the crew looked distracted and disorganised, showing zero urgency or care. Not exactly winning any awards for customer care here.

Hygiene Horror: Filthy Floors and Grotty Toilets

This was the worst part. Despite several staff on shift, the place looked neglected. Tables were left grubby, floors sticky with litter and mystery spills that looked like chocolate or worse. The seating area? A mess. Believe it or not, this dive scored lower on hygiene than food outlets I’ve seen in slums across the Philippines. A high street chain should never tolerate this level of filth.

The toilets were a nightmare – filthy, broken, and lacking loo roll. A working, clean bathroom is basic for any eatery, but here it’s clearly a forgotten luxury. Absolutely off-putting.

Final Scorecard

• Food: 2/5
• Cleanliness: 0/5
• Value for Money: 3/5
• Staff: 2/5
• Total: 2/5

“I wouldn’t recommend this branch unless improvements are made, and I certainly won’t be returning anytime soon.”

Verdict: The KFC London Road branch in Brighton serves acceptable food at best, but its shocking hygiene, lazy service, and poor upkeep drag the whole experience into the dumps. Until they shape up fast, avoid this branch like the plague.