Charles Dickens’ Southsea Flat Seeks Beyoncé-Loving, Hoover-Obsessed Flatmate!
A quirky double bedroom has just hit the Southsea market – in a maisonette once “hand-crafted” by Charles Dickens himself, back in his bricky days. Daisy, a witty young Southsea designer, has posted a brilliantly bonkers flatshare ad on SpareRoom, hunting for a flatmate who loves hoovering and ideally doubles as a handsome male model or Beyoncé (bonus points, not dealbreakers).
Historic Pad Meets Hipster Heaven
This flat is just a 49-second stroll from Albert Road, the beating heart of Southsea’s hipster pubs. Daisy’s ad promises, “…all pretentious hipster pubs are just a stone’s throw. Here you can immerse yourself in beards and horn-rimmed glasses and bicker about psych music.” Fancy chilling at The Honest Politician? That’s only a 212-second walk, with free pool thrown in.
The maisonette is a mash-up of cultural history and “young designer with too much time” flair. Everything’s practically brand new – including a Louis Theroux throw cushion for that added quirk factor.
Wacky Flatmate Perks – From 7ft Wolves to Extreme Pack Lunches
Daisy’s eccentric schedule as an artist/designer means irregular hours and strange requests – like “How bendy are you?” or “Can the top half of you fit into a laundrette washing machine?” Oh, and beware of Brian – a 7ft wolf who lives in the flat but “generally keeps quiet and is easy to maintain.”
The flat also boasts a tiny suntrap front garden. Sprawl out between flowerbeds and low walls, and you’ll swear you’re sunning it up in Ibiza – even with “poor chart toppers blaring from dweeby boy racer cars” nearby.
The Ultimate Flatmate Wishlist
- A passion for hoovering
- Handsome male model and/or Beyoncé (desired, not essential)
- Steam mop MX5 enthusiast
- Interest in ITV2’s Love Island or Viva La Bam
- Basic grasp of English
- Ability to debate if Kanye West is a genius or a crackpot
- Willingness to provide a no-judgment zone when Daisy stays in PJs for 48+ hours
- Sense of humour and/or expert sarcasm skills
Oh, and if you work a 9-to-5, Daisy will treat you to gourmet pack lunches with labelled snacks and healthy mains – all at no extra cost!
Fancy living in a flat where Dickens meets diva antics? Check out the full ad on SpareRoom before someone else snaps it up.
